This isn't a blog post so much as a first draft.
Tonight our trivia group was accosted by no fewer than four drunk/unstable people. I just want to list them so I can remember them all later.
1. The guy who approached us, pointed to the table and asked if we minded a mug. It took a while for us to pick up on the fact that he was asking if he could sit on the small corner between Taylor and Lily. Request denied.
2. The exceedingly drunk ("but who gives a fuck?! Am I right?!") girl who kept telling Lily how much she looked like her friend Megan, whom she loves. This girl then proceeded to make out with one of the guys at her table and then gave a lap dance to a different guy, the latter of whom she left with/was kicked out with.
3. The creepy older (50 going on 75) gentleman who sat at drunk girl & co's table and kept placing himself in Rachel's line of sight.
4. My favorite: The African gentleman who kept telling me I was a handsome motherfucker. So handsome that he hated me, but also loved me. He then complimented Rachel on her smile and told her she was terrible at frowning. He then spent a long time trying to remember who Taylor looked like. The rich guy from Hollywood with the bad hair (it was Donald Trump). He told us how he loved his 16 and 14 year old daughters more than anything and how he was from "stupid motherfucking Africa," and how in Africa you could never say "motherfucker," but here, it's great. He loves our mothers, but we're motherfuckers. He shook our hands each about a dozen times, and then he kissed mine and Lily's. There was some serious handwashing going on afterwards.
Also our food order got screwed up, which is unusual for this particular pub, but the strangest part was that these people seemed to be leaving everyone else alone. Just kidding, those other things were stranger.
My favorite other team of the night was called "I don't pull out but my sofa does" because they were all very young-looking college kids who kept loudly chortling at the fact that #2 girl was leaving with a different guy than who she was making out with earlier. Also, the name.