In a scenario where all 43 U.S. Presidents are living together on Mars (don't ask), who would be the first one eaten? Here are the conditions:
Despite it being Mars, they have a few basic supplies: Water, fire-making tools, air, their own clothing. All of the Presidents are as they were at the time they were in office, so there won't be a 90-year-old Alzheimer's-afflicted Ronald Reagan competing with relatively young contenders like John Kennedy (though 70-year-old Reagan might not do much better).
So with all that laid out, who would be the first to go? Who would be last?
Lily's family and I came to these conclusions:
First to be killed, whether eaten or not: Carter or Madison. From Wikipedia: "Madison is noted for being the shortest president ever, at 5' 4" tall. He is also the lightest president ever, weighing only about 100 Lbs."
Last man standing: Washington or Grant. Military men, both relatively young when they were in office. You know Grant would fight dirty.
Then again, the remaining 42 of them could probably split Taft over the course of a few weeks.
Also of note, I had probably the best breakfast of my life this morning at Monsoon. Porkbelly (they accidentally gave me two pieces), fried eggs, brioche french toast with maple syrup.