Mariners Rule, Rangers Drool

Dave and Susannah (my little sister) can be so similar sometimes. She is currently sitting next to me and laughing and laughing about the Pet Sounds liner notes. Just observing.

It's opening day and I want a hot dog. But it is pouring and my house is cozy and smells like brioche bread pudding so I think that will be an acceptable substitute. But also, I fucking love hot dogs.

Taxes: Done

Though technically speaking I fall into the tax bracket labeled "DIRE," it hardly ever feels as bad as I imagined it would.

Criterion

I'm on something of a long-term mission to see every movie in the Criterion Collection, but this plan is encumbered by two things:

1. Probably 20% of the Criterion movies I have no desire to see.
2. They add titles at a rate that far exceeds my watching ability.

Despite these obstacles, I'm about a third of the way through. I wonder who is in charge of designing their DVD cases. I sometimes like them even more than I like the movies themselves. Example:

Man, that scene was suggestive for 1953.

Which reminds me, RIP Richard Widmark.

Charlie

Ever since Joanna brought the wonderful "Buhlud" video into my life, I can't stop watching it. This video, although slightly less hilarious, makes a welcome substitute. It's by far the best thing I've seen all week and on Sunday my whole family was together for Easter and didn't fight! Still though, these kids are British. Sorry Mom.

Hilarious!

I told Dave I would update the blog today and find something so funny that it would make all his posts forgettable. But then I didn't do that and searching "hilarious" on youtube only turned up some cats and grandmas (not as good as you'd think). I did find this however, and as a Mountain Goats fan who loves the new album, I think it's great.

http://www.thejeffreylewissite.com/Mt-Goats-Press-Kit-08.html

Pet Sounds

I suppose this goes along with my last post a bit. The following is an excerpt from the liner notes to a 1990 re-issue of the Beach Boys' seminal album Pet Sounds, considered by many to be their best work.

Brian Wilson:

"In December of 1966, I heard the album Rubber Soul by the Beatles. It was definitely a challenge for me. I saw that every cut was very artistically interesting and stimulating. I immediately went to work on the songs for Pet Sounds."

I like that when he listens to a really good album, all he hears is "Bring your A-game, Wilson. Yeah, this record is talking to you."

I hope he felt some vindication when Paul McCartney would later cite Pet Sounds as a major influence on Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, the one album that beat it on Rolling Stone's list of the "500 Greatest Albums of All Time." But then, what the hell is that list worth? They think the top ten albums ever made were all released within about seven years (1979's London Calling excepted).

Days Off Don't Make for Good Blog Posts

There's only so much to be said about moving a cabinet and walking to the library.

I'm starting to get interested in music again. Not playing it, I mean, just listening to it. It's weird, but for a while there I'd just lost all interest in hearing anything new or exciting. I thought it had all been done and I'd heard all I needed to. "Incorrectly jaded," I guess would be the best phrase for it.

But now I actively want to hear new things (or at least new to me). It's not like there was one song, album, or artist that served as an epiphany for me. It must have something to do with all of the music news and reviews I've been reading lately; I want to hear what everyone's talking about. And it's good stuff, this... music.

Green Arrow is from Seattle

Lily's family held an archery competition after the Easter egg hunt yesterday. Three of her cousins had expensive, professional-looking bows and were hitting three-dimensional deer targets from 20, 30, 50, and 80 yards away.

I literally hit the broad side of the barn from 30 yards, but that's about it. I need to start training my arms for next Easter or I will never be accepted into this family.

I got up early too

When I woke Dave up this morning to tell him that I made him breakfast he didn't believe me. I believe this means I've failed utterly as a girlfriend and a culinary student. But I don't know if I deserve my boyfriend telling me "No!" when I told him I made him french toast. Jerk.


Happy Easter!

Shit Sandwich

When I was writing my senior thesis last year, I came across a quote that has since stuck in my head very vividly. It's from Guillermo del Toro, the writer-director of Pan's Labyrinth and seemingly a hell of a nice guy from all I've seen and read of him.

Mark Kermode* interviewed del Toro for the Guardian back in late 2006 as the accolades for Labyrinth were pouring in. The jolly Mexican director offered this as the ultimate quote on filmmaking:

"If you think it's hard at the beginning, it never gets better. I say making movies is like eating a sandwich of shit. Sometimes you get more bread, sometimes less bread, but you always get shit. This is the final piece of advice."


*Kermode also happens to be the interviewer who was talking with Werner Herzog when he was shot with an "insignificant bullet." There's something to be said for being in the right place at the right time.

Louchard Reelzer

From Pitchfork:Lou Reed and Richard Belzer or an elderly lesbian couple?

Werner Herzblog

I really like this. It's not that funny, but I think it's very true to its subject. And you can't beat a play on words like that.

I'm actually a little annoyed that I didn't think of it first...

"What the Fuck is a Barack?!"

XXL Magazine recently interviewed rapper DMX about his upcoming albums, his family, his influences, and his apathy toward the political process. The whole interview is well-worth reading (seriously, click here), but here's a bit that made me absolutely lose my proverbial shit at work.

Are you following the presidential race?
Not at all.

You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.
Barack?!

Barack.
What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?

Yeah.
What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
I ain’t really paying much attention.

I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.

So you’re not following the race. You can’t vote right?
Nope.

Is that why you’re not following it?
No, because it’s just—it doesn’t matter. They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do. It doesn’t really make a difference. These are the last years.

Note that DMX goes through four or five mental and emotional phases in the course of about twenty seconds. Confusion, denial, confusion again, anger, and omniscience. Seriously, "these are the last years."?

It's remarkable that there's a rapper out there who can make 50 Cent look like a legitimate political pundit.

My Comp is on its Way Out

It still works pretty well, to be fair, but after five years it's beginning to show its growing obsolescence. So the question is: What kind of computer to buy next and with what money?

That reminds me, I read an article this morning about a guy losing his MacBook Air. As someone who hates and dreads losing anything, this article, and the writer's theory of what happened to the MacBook (thrown out accidentally with a stack of old newspapers), horrified me.

Another Me

I'm in the midst of Friend-only-ifying my old Livejournal. It's a rather painful experience. I can't stop cringing. I'm starting at the beginning to hide the memories in an order that mostly goes from worst to best. The painful thing isn't only that I couldn't write very well; I still have problems with style, in my opinion. It's not that my tone is often that of a 14-year-old girl, though there's that. No, the agonizing thing is how vulnerable I was, how cool I wanted to be, and how open I was trying to be with the world. I really lay my feelings bare a lot in those early entries. My thinly-veiled crushes, my desire to be loved and included by friends, my futile attempts to be hip. It makes me want to protect 18-year-old me and tell him it'll be all right. That college will get better in some ways and worse in others. That nearly none of those girls he's pining for will date him, but others will. It also makes me want to beat 18-year-old me up for being a big whiner.

But maybe the worst thing is that I don't think I'm all that different today. A little older, and more educated, and more mature, but essentially the same.

I have to admit though, some of the entries are pretty hilarious, whether intentional or (more often) not. I'd provide a link for you to see, but unless you're my LJ friend, there's not going to be much to see there in a day or two anyway.

Kindergarten Memories

I'm nearing the end of my hardest quarter yet and unfortunately that means I've abandoned you all. Wait, abandoned isn't right. I left Dave here. He babysat you. And nicely too! Didn't you all have fun? Didn't you have fun with Dave? Okay, fine. Abandoned.


Either way, I'm sorry and I'll be back soon. I'm going to leave the house key with you just so you know that I'll be back. I can't go home without you now! Lily loves you. Be good with Dave!

Worst Movie Scenes

I tend to believe you can learn almost as much from bad movies as you can from good. Consider this video from Youtube a brief lesson:

I post here late at night...

... so I don't have to think about it when I'm trying to have fun during the day. We will maybe add more to this if the day warrants such an update. Though really, if we're having enough fun to warrant an update, we probably aren't going to want to blog about it.

Popularity and Obama

As much as I like Barack Obama, even I have to admit that Rolling Stone Magazine may have gone a little overboard with their latest cover.



The AVClub lets them have it.

Traveling

I was on the set of the movie Traveling today, and something was bothering me. There are literally hundreds of people doing their best to make a movie that looks pretty lame. I realize this isn't exactly a new notion, or something that no one has figured out themselves already, but c'mon, they spent two hours setting up for a surprise-rain gag. Because it's Seattle. Get it.

I sometimes feel like when those sorts of things come to pass, film crews should have a right to overthrow the director by super-majority vote and make the film themselves without the stupid scenes. Thomas Jefferson-style.

Follow Up

If anyone's wondering what happened with the Leonard excitement yesterday, so far only Toronto, Montreal, and seemingly all of Europe has been announced. More Canadian dates will come soon (supposedly) but the palpable excitement in this household hasn't quite reached its peak.

Speaking of Leonard Cohen, did anybody see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction? Apparently it was "Ventures Day" in Washington State. So expect cards next year (or at least a blog post about it).

Sorry ya'll

The tour announcement for my darling Leonard Cohen is scheduled for tonight so

I WISH I WAS BONIN'
LEONARD COHEN

Sorry, that's all I can do in this excited state. But I welcome suggestions and participation.

Annoying?

Lately I've been talking in House of Holland-esq rhymes (you've seen them-the neon shirts with block letters and dirty rhymes about people in the fashion industry) and while mine aren't as original as Henry Holland's (you can't beat MY LEGS ARE UNCROSSED/FOR GEORGIA FROST) I have the advantage of not being confined to British fashion darlings. Unfortunately, this means I can make everything into a t-shirt-able rhyme and I'm beginning to bother Dave and my friends. And who do I turn to when I'm bothering my real life besties? The internet! So don't disappoint me, internet, and join me in the fun, slightly dirty rhyming game.

Stephin Merritt is a Disagreeable Fellow

But a damn fine songwriter. Lily and I saw him speak at the Richard Hugo House on Wednesday. We were already acquainted with his reputation as an interviewer's nightmare, but it didn't help things that the interviewer asked the most obvious and obnoxious questions ever. Here's a sampling of questions followed by their answers (all wording is approximate, but close):

I did some research of you on Wikipedia. The website that has entries on everybody and everything...
Famously inaccurate articles, yes.
Well, it listed your most frequent motifs as "trains and railroads, the age 17, the moon, dancing, cities, rain, eyes and faces, and love." Would you like to add or subtract from that list?
(extended silence)
What other motifs are there? Besides, those are motifs that can be found in just my song titles.

If you were trapped on a desert island, what food would you have with you?
(long pause)
You mean, aside from obvious things like coconuts and fish?
Yeah, like what kind of cuisine?
(extended silence)
The kind I could buy in New York or Los Angeles.

What one movie would you have on the desert island?
One movie? Probably something that either taught me how to get off the island, or something depressing enough to give me the strength to kill myself.

What one CD would you want?
(quietly disbelieving that these questions are still being asked)
The Soviet Army Chorus and Band playing "It's a Long Way to Tipperary." That way it would be loud enough to attract rescue planes, but would also not offend anyone's ideology.

To Stephin's credit, he didn't get up and leave, and to the interviewer's credit, he didn't get flustered by the seemingly eternal pauses, but it was still one of the most uncomfortable interviews I've ever seen. But obviously very funny nonetheless.

Drillbit Taylor

Earlier today there was a free movie pass on my desk for Drillbit Taylor that bore the fascinatingly appropriate tagline: "You Get What You Pay For."

Also, a prediction:

In five to ten years, landline telephones are going to become ultra hip. People will be entranced by the novelty of being tied down to a location while talking. They'll also enjoy the big plasticky feel and the droning dial tones of these relics of the 1990s. Then a company will invent landline phones that can text message (if they don't already exist). Some people will go nuts over them, others will merely roll their eyes and get back to telegraphing their friends about their new favorite band: Third Eye Blind.

Another Memoir Debunked

What a week!

http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/opinion/la-ed-memoir6mar06,1,3674980.story

This time a white woman named Margaret Seltzer was pretending to be a half-Native American half-Caucasian gang member named Margaret B. Jones living in South LA.

I'm much too tired to give this the kind of in-depth attention I gave to that faux Holocaust Memoir the other day (also, the details of this second story aren't quite as hilariously outlandish as those in the first book) but I will say this:

1. I agree with the notion that it is immoral to exploit or misrepresent a group (e.g. European Jews, impoverished urban minorities) for financial gain.
2. But does this mean that publishers should have to run extensive background checks on any author claiming to write nonfiction? Because I don't know that I agree with that. I'm still mulling the whole thing over.

Work Post

I figured this would be an ideal opportunity to post as everyone else in my office is getting a cigarette.

So...

How about that election? Looks like it's going to come down to my old home state to decide this mess. Too bad we have to wait until APRIL 22ND. Nice electoral system, America. Really.

Also, I'm writing an essay on Howling 2: Your Sister is a Werewolf for the LucidScreening White Elephant Blogathon. I'm not sure if they'll be hosting the essay on their site or if they'll just be linking to it on this one. In any case, look forward to that post sometime between now and April 1st.

The Quick-Nearly-Forgotten Post

Sorry for the lame post, but our internet is being unbelievably slow and midnight is fast approaching. I want to put this up before the internet conks out entirely.

Love,

Dave (and Lily)

Holocaust Memoir Debunked

I really like this story because I enjoy the practice of fakery, but wow, lying about being a Holocaust survivor in order to sell a book is a pretty terrible thing to do.

http://www.komotv.com/news/entertainment/16122582.html

A choice quote from that article:

The statement said her parents were arrested when she was 4 and she was taken care of by her grandfather and uncle. She said she was poorly treated by her adopted family, called a "daughter of a traitor" because of her parents' role in the resistance, which she said led her to "feel Jewish."

What a good defense. Next time you're on the highway and you're pulled over by a cop, be sure to exclaim, "Ugh, I feel so Black!"

Another great thing about this is that her story is so improbable, yet it took ten years for the lie to come to light. Witness, in the book she:

• Is taken in by a pack of wolves.
• Sneaks into and out of the Warsaw ghetto
• Stabs a German soldier to death in self-defense.
• Walks from Belgium to Ukraine.

All between the ages of 7 and 11.

Back to the original article, another good quote:

"I'm not an expert on relations between humans and wolves, but I am a specialist of the persecution of Jews, and they (Defonseca's family) can't be found in the archives," Belgian historian Maxime Steinberg told RTL television. "The De Wael family is not Jewish nor were they registered as Jewish."

Man, Maxime Steinberg, you'd be so much cooler if you were an expert on both the persecution of Jews and human-wolf relations.

I'm looking forward to Elie Wiesel announcing, "My real name is Randall Munsch. I am Jewish, but I was born in Queens. Whoopsy-daisy."

Lazy, So Lazy

Despite Dave reminding me to post all day and despite the fact that I had ample opportunity and time, I didn't post until now and since it's after 11 Dave has to get to work now. My computer is broken and so this is what you get. Sorry, suckers, I'm just difficult like that.

Go read filmwad.com and everything Dave has to say. It's much more interesting than me being a pill.

Busy Life

I've been doing enough in the Seattle film scene that today I was described as "ubiquitous." And at this point, considering most of what I'm doing is administrative or on-set grunt work, that's as high a compliment as I could have expected or asked for.